A Rant

I find my appearance to be something I put a lot of care into. A lot of- myself is tied to it, much more than what I can say here. To boil it down, it's the most I have control of right now. I think it's the first thing people judge about you, and I want to be judged and seen as myself. Ykyk.

But enough of that. The clothes.


A lot of my clothes are secondhand, on purpose. Either thrifting or from a family member. I'm acutely aware of the unsustainability of fast fashion, and all the endless debate that can be said. I don't really want to participate in it here, but you can probably gauge my values on it if you wanted.

My closet is the way it is for a mixed amount of reasons. Basically- size, variety, money, and sustainability. More into-

  1. Size- There's no 'polite' way to say that I'm fat. Or at least, fatter than your regular teenager. It's a fact. The sky is mostly blue, and my thick thighs are a result of my genes. I think it's cool. But current fashion absolutely does not believe that and it's very awkward to find something that fits me right.

  2. Variety- Like I said before, hard to find the right size. But even then, there's a good chance I just don't like the look of it. I want to look queer. Memorable. Self expression is hard when your closet is full of exclusively outdated microtrends.

  3. Money- I'm a teenager. Can't get a job most places, so I live on allowance, which I'm thankful for!! I'm also thankful that my family can live pretty comfortably without worrying too much about expenses. But of course I can't like. Participate in that weird "no outfit repeat" shit. We live in a place with high rent and we have pretty limited space for 5 people.

  4. Sustainability- Riding off the tail of the last one, I want the money to be worth it. I want clothes that'll last me. And if I don't like it for whatever reason, I should be able to give it to somebody else or repurpose it instead of having to throw it away.

Other than secondhand though, there's a good chance it'll be from Ross, or Kohls. An attempt from my mom to buy me something formal, or a necessity, like underwear.

(If you don't know either of the places, Ross is a discount retail store that rebuys stock from other stores. And Kohls is a sad department store where your parents bring you to when they remember they have reward points.)